LATTER-DAY SATAN

This will probably be the most difficult sentence of my story to believe. I feel like I had a nurturing and fulfilled childhood. I never remember going without, whether it was something I needed or wanted. I was an honor roll student, a member of the boy scouts of America, and attended church each week. In the Summertime I would be registered for baseball, winter basketball, spring was golf. The holidays were always highlights, and family vacations were to Disneyland in California. Our family was the picture of perfection. They lived happily ever after, the end. Well, as with any perfect picture, if you begin to examine closely, imperfections become apparent. And the imperfections were not even imperfect. These so called blemishes were violations of the standards set by the Church. This was the scale of right and wrong given to us. We were not taught to feel each situation and determine for ourselves its standard. At a very early age our intuition and spiritual gifts...

"All You Need is Love.  All You Need is Love.   All You Need is Love, Love.  Love is All You Need."  -John Lennon & Sir Paul McCartney, 1967 There was a time when I sat down to write my story with venom and anger. To unload deep pains of guilt and fear as my own personal covered wagon across the plains. It wasn't until this past year, that I received an angelic validation from one of Heaven's most beautiful daughters, my friend and teacher, Jodi Ann. It was her words that rang like a bell of truth, and have become my primary compass when making decisions for myself. "To make a choice out of fear, worry, or guilt, will only bring more of what you do not want in the first place. Fear, worry, and guilt. So when evaluating choices, ask yourself, am I doing this because I am afraid that, or if I don't I would feel guilty, or but if I don't I worry......immediately, and in the best way you know possible, repeat out loud CANCEL/CLEAR/DELET...

I thought the following poem summarized so beautifully with symbolism of a personal autobiography. The assignment I was given when I was handed this piece, was to identify where in my story I was at that exact moment in time. No, I am not handing out assignments already, it will naturally come to you...Enjoy.... AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS by Portia Nelson I. I walk down the street, There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost...I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. II. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I am in the same place. But it isn't my fault! It still takes a long time to get out. III. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in....it's a habit. My eyes are open, I know where I am. I get out immediately. IV. I walk down t...

I have often been asked to put some of my experiences to paper.  I was told it would be cleansing by more than one therapist.  I was cheered on by friends  (who I think were sick of hearing the same stories over and over again at parties)  and would be relieved that I would hand someone the printed word,  and spare them the agony of the detailed adventures. I have attempted it a few times, but it just did not "feel" right. Until now. Allow me to briefly introduce myself. And I shall do it in the most insulting of ways. By sharing with you a list of labels that I affirm and identify in this physical state. Pisces Male Handsome Blond Blue Eyes Tall Aged to 39 Brother Son Uncle Cousin Grandson Friend See, usually when I go to open my mouth, I can sometimes picture my Mothers face. The horror she feels at not knowing what may come falling out, like my purse. Here is where we get into some touchy areas Animal ...